Write something and burn it
One sentence. The thing you cannot say to anybody. Then watch it go.
Your body believes a ritual even while your mind is standing there being skeptical about it. Let it.
The Back Porch
Out here you can say the thing.
Nobody is listening and nothing you say out here is going on your record.
- Write something and burn it
- Name what you are angry about
- Grieve somebody who is still here
- Say a name out loud
- Sit with Sage and say nothing
Name what you are angry about
Resentment is not a character flaw. It is a reading on a gauge, and it climbs when more is going out than is coming in.
It is almost always one of three things: no time that belongs to you, nobody has thanked you in a very long time, or old history that never got dealt with and now you are washing that same person's back.
Name which one. That is the thing to work on. Talking yourself out of the feeling while nothing changes is just one more chore.
Grieve somebody who is still here
You are allowed to grieve a person who is sitting in the next room. It is called anticipatory grief and it is one of the hardest things a person can carry, because there is no funeral and no casserole and no permission.
Name the specific loss out loud. Not 'I am sad.' 'I miss being able to call her for advice.' Grief moves when it gets specific.
Say a name out loud
For the one who already went. Type the name and it stays lit on this porch for as long as this window is open.
Sit with Sage and say nothing
No prompt. No exercise. Just somebody else out here.