Am I allowed to move her into a facility?
Yes.
The word people use is put, as in put her in a home, and that word is doing a lot of damage. You are not putting her anywhere. You are moving her somewhere with three shifts of staff, because you are one person with one body and no shift change.
The promise you made was probably 'I will take care of you.' It was not 'I will personally lift you off a bathroom floor with my own spine at sixty-two years old.' Care is still care when other hands help you carry it.
Ask two questions and answer them honest. Is she safe. Am I. If either answer is no, you already know what this is.
The guilt will come anyway. Guilt is not evidence that you did wrong. It is the tax on loving somebody.
More tough questions
- Is it wrong that I sometimes wish it was over?
- How do I get my brother to actually help?
- What do I do when she doesn't know who I am?
- How am I supposed to afford this?
- What if I resent her?
- Do I have to forgive her first?
- How do I tell my job?
- What happens to me when this is over?
- Why don't I feel anything anymore?