Why don't I feel anything anymore?
Because numbness is not the absence of feeling. It is your body putting a hand over your own mouth so you can keep working.
You cannot stay on high alert for two years without something switching off. The switch is not broken. It is protecting you. It is why you can hear a bad scan result and just nod, then fall apart three weeks later over a broken dish.
The way back is not to force the feeling. It is to lower the alert. Sleep, if you can get anybody to cover one night. Ten minutes where nobody can reach you. Food somebody else made.
But hear me on this one. If the flat has been there for weeks and it comes with not wanting to be here, that is past tired and it needs a real person, not a website. 988, call or text, any hour. Needing that number does not mean you failed at this.
More tough questions
- Is it wrong that I sometimes wish it was over?
- How do I get my brother to actually help?
- Am I allowed to move her into a facility?
- What do I do when she doesn't know who I am?
- How am I supposed to afford this?
- What if I resent her?
- Do I have to forgive her first?
- How do I tell my job?
- What happens to me when this is over?