How am I supposed to afford this?
First, some of what you are paying out of pocket, you may not have to.
Call 1-800-677-1116 and ask for your Area Agency on Aging. That single call is the door to respite funds, adult day programs, transportation and meal delivery in your specific county. Most people never make it because nobody tells them it exists.
Ask by name for: Medicaid waiver programs, which in many states will pay a family member to provide care. VA benefits, if there is any service history at all, including a spouse's. And your state's structured family caregiving program if it has one.
Second, write down what you have already spent. Copays, gas, the grab bars, the days you did not work. Not to make yourself sick over it. So that when somebody asks what you have contributed, you have a number and they have an opinion.
More tough questions
- Is it wrong that I sometimes wish it was over?
- How do I get my brother to actually help?
- Am I allowed to move her into a facility?
- What do I do when she doesn't know who I am?
- What if I resent her?
- Do I have to forgive her first?
- How do I tell my job?
- What happens to me when this is over?
- Why don't I feel anything anymore?